


just to walk close by your side

by barelyprolific



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angry!Eddie, Angst, Canon Compliant, Dad!Buck, Eddie can hold a grudge, Fire Fam Feels, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Kid Fic, Kids of 118 + Buck, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Seasonal, but also Uncle!Buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 17:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21183182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: In the wake of the lawsuit, Buck is eager to make good with his family again... And he'll go to just about any lengths to do it. Even if it means becoming station babysitter for a day.





	1. be prepared to bleed

**Author's Note:**

> I went to a fall festival like this myself, and the whole time I thought about Buck bringing Christopher somewhere like it.

As far as plans go, Buck’s had worse ones.

Much worse ones.

As recently as within the last month, in fact. 

Which is _ kinda _ why he finds himself doing this in the first place, but only _ kinda_.

Whatever. Buck’s reasons are his own, and this plan will work. 

He clears his throat. Chimney looks up from his phone, looks back down at it. Nobody else reacts. 

Buck clears his throat again. It’s probably his imagination, but Bobby chops down on the onion he’s dicing a little forcefully. Still, no one looks at him.

Dropping his hands to his side, Buck takes a deep breath. He should be used to it by now, but he’d skipped over that and gone straight to sick of it. Buck wants his family back. 

That was the whole damn point in the first place. 

Buck starts to clear his throat again, is cut off by a sharp, “What do you need _ now_, Evan?”

Turning his head just in time to catch Eddie looking away from him, Buck feels his shoulders slump. 

Chimney is nice to him outside of work, and Hen is warm enough when Bobby isn’t around, but Eddie… Eddie won’t even acknowledge Buck exists unless he has to.

Or he’s pissed.

Buck doesn’t _ get _ it. _ Why _ Eddie is so pissed. Why he’d said those things, when Eddie of all people was supposed to at least try to understand and have his back, like Buck would have for him… Why Eddie is still so pissed, when Buck is back and they can talk. Except Eddie won’t talk to him, and--perhaps the worst part--despite telling Buck that he misses him, he hasn’t let Buck see _ Christopher_.

This cold side of Eddie is one Buck’s never had to deal with before. It makes him falter.

“I, uh…” He swallows, sweeps his gaze back around to the rest of the crew, who all look away quickly. Buck drops his eyes to the floor. “Look. I’m not gonna apologize or explain again. I get that you guys don’t get why...and you’re all pissed at me. I’m willing to do my time. But I fought to get my family back, and I want to remind you guys that to me, you _ are _ family,” Buck wants, badly, to look at Eddie, see if he has his attention yet. See if his words have softened him at all. Afraid they might not have, he doesn’t. “So I thought I’d offer to take the kids out on my day off this weekend.”

There’s silence that stretches long enough to make Buck start squirming. 

“The kids?” Hen finally speaks. “You mean _ my _ kid, and _ Eddie’s _ kid?”

Buck looks up at her, eyes wide, licks his lips and nods. “And, uh, Bobby’s step-kids. If Athena’d be cool with it.”

“I object on the grounds that I have no children, so this does nothing beneficial for me,” Chimney says, but there’s good humor in it, a grin on his face. 

“What would you be doing with ‘the kids’?” Bobby asks, a mild interjection. Buck’s heart feels a little lighter and he can’t fight the beam that lights up his face.

“There’s a fall festival at one of the parks. It’s supposed to be really cool. A creepy animal barn, craft booths, a maze, a hay ride, pumpkin patch, hay _ slide_, contests…” 

“It sounds like _ you _ want to go,” Hen points out, one eyebrow arching, smirk tugging at her mouth. She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. “The kids are an excuse, I’m betting.”

They are, but not in the way that Hen thinks. Buck isn’t going to tell her that, though. He shakes his head, puts his hand over his heart like he’s wounded at the thought.

“Hen, _ no_,” Buck pauses, shrugs and grins. “I mean, I do want to go, but I also want to, you know,” he gestures at Hen, “do something nice for my family. Take the kids for a fun day. Maybe they could use it.”

“Again, this isn’t really fair to me, because I don’t have kids… Can you rent one for a day? Is there a way I could borrow one and make Buck take care of it?”

The longer Chimney rambles, the looser Buck’s shoulders get. _ This. _ This is what he had been missing. These moments.

“Shut up, Chim,” Hen is laughing as she uncrosses her arms to push, gently, at the side of his head. Buck is laughing, too, when she glances at him. A glance that lingers, for once. “Look, Buck, I’ll have to check with Karen, but it sounds like something Denny would really enjoy, and if you want to saddle yourself with a bunch of children and play uncle on your day off, I’m not gonna stop you.”

“Alright, awesome,” Buck claps his hands, turns to Bobby with his hopeful expression, the one Maddie says makes him look like a lost puppy dog. “Bobby? Do you think Athena would mind if I took May and Harry with me to this thing?”

The Captain meets Buck’s eyes, looks at him for a long time. He’s going to say no. Buck is sure of it. And if Bobby says no, then Eddie sure as hell won’t say yes. 

As if reading his thoughts, Buck watches Bobby’s eyes flicker behind him, to where Eddie is, before meeting Buck’s again. His voice is calm, almost friendly, and there’s a hint of a smile on his face, when he says, “Actually, Buck, I don’t think Athena would mind at all. I’ll run it by her tonight to make sure, but I’d say go ahead and plan on them.”

Relief so powerful it feels like Buck’s knees might collapse overcomes him. His throat bobs once, twice. 

“I’m really glad to hear that.” Buck tries to sound steady; his voice wavers and cracks halfway through the second word. It’s fine, though. It’s fine, because Bobby said yes, which just leaves… “Eddie?”

Buck half-turns, falters again. Eddie is closer than he was before, staring straight at Buck. This time he doesn’t look away, their eyes meeting. The set of his jaw has Buck’s palms sweating. The grin he tries doesn’t seem to work, the corners of his mouth too busy trembling to curl up. “What do you say to Christopher tagging along?”

Eddie’s jaw works, eyes darker than Buck has ever seen them as he rakes them over him. They might as well be coals, the way that look burns. Or maybe it’s the slight sneer that goes with it. 

“Fine,” he says, shortly. “It sounds like something he’d enjoy.” 

It’s a victory. Buck knows it’s a win, but it’s a lousy win. Lousier, somehow, than being offered money when he just wanted his job. 

Still, it’s a win. Buck’s shoulders loosen a little more. 

***

His mouth is dry. Buck’s pretty sure he left his gum in his locker.

“Just get a glass of water,” Hen tells him, rolling her eyes. She sets down a card, green with a seven on it, on top of a messy pile of other brightly colored cards. With a glint in her eye, she meets Chimney’s gaze head on. “Uno.”

“Damn it.” Chimney looks in despair down at his much larger hand. “Go on, Buck. Go now, before you have to witness this brutal demolition of your dear friend.”

“I’ll tell Maddie you love her,” Buck deadpans, leaves the two of them to finish their game and heads down the stairs. At the bottom of them, he pauses. 

Eddie’s by his locker. Pacing. 

Maybe it wasn’t such a hollow victory. Lips curling up, Buck steps off the stairs and moves quickly towards the other man. “Eddie.”

His dark head jerks up, expression stormy. Buck’s smile flickers, dims, steps slowing to a stop. 

“I know what you’re doing.”

“...Getting gum?” 

“Don’t be obtuse, Buck.” 

“Hey, you’re the one standing by my space, all pissed off.” As per usual, Buck doesn’t add, mouth twisting downward. 

“I know why you invited all the kids to the festival.”

Funny, how his stomach manages to tie itself into a heavy enough knot that it sinks to his feet. 

“I wanted to do something nice, and fun.”

Eddie’s eyes narrow, and he points at Buck with one accusing finger. “You’re telling me it had nothing to do with making me let you see Christopher?”

“What?” Buck’s throat feels tight. “Eddie, come on. You could have said no.”

“In front of everyone like that? No, Buck, you made sure I couldn’t say no. But I am telling you right now, it won’t work.” Eddie is moving closer to him.

There was a time where Buck would have leaned right in, but now he finds himself stumbling backwards a couple of steps. Away from Eddie’s anger. “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Eddie has stopped, and for a second, there’s an expression on his face that isn’t cold or furious. His eyes are on Buck’s feet, and they skip up his body to meet his. Stricken. He seems--but then he actually looks Buck in the eye again and his jaw is hard, face shutting down again. 

“I’m not letting you use Christopher to get to me again.”

“What?” Buck chokes on the word. “Eddie, I would _ never_\--”

“Please.” Eddie snorts. “I’m letting this happen because Chris misses you. It doesn’t mean that we’re cool again.”

“That’s _ fine_,” Buck snaps, cheeks feeling hot, flushed with indignation. “I don’t give a damn if you hate me forever, _ Diaz_, that’s not why I want to see Christopher. I love that kid, and you know it. Or you did, and would again if you stopped being pissed at me for long enough to _ remember_.”

Eddie is standing very, very still, staring at Buck. Buck has the impression of coils, ready to spring. 

And do _ what_, Buck’s not sure. Well, he’s always been reckless. 

“You told me not that long ago that there was no one you trusted with your son as much as me. Eddie, I never told you how much hearing that meant to me. I know you don’t believe me right now because the lawsuit...you’re right, I wasn’t thinking about how it would affect you and Christopher. I...didn’t think not being able to see me would really matter, I guess. But it wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry I left you hanging like that. I shouldn’t have--I wouldn’t have, if I had realized… I was wrong. I was trying so hard to get back here, I didn’t realize I still had you two in a really important way. And you don’t have to forgive me for it, not if you don’t want to. But you told me that Christopher misses me, and I _ miss _ him. Whatever you think I’m doing, I promise you, I just want to spend time with your son.”

At his side, Eddie’s hands clench and unclench; Buck watches them, holds his ground, this time. 

If Eddie wants to hit him, if that’s what it takes to get them past this…

Eddie only grunts. His shoulder does knock, hard, into Buck’s, as he passes him to take the stairs two at a time. 

“Pick him up early and buy him breakfast,” is all he says, already halfway up the stairs before the words leave him. 

Buck watches him go until he can’t see him anymore. A few seconds later, the sound of fists hitting the punching bag filter down to him. 

Sighing, Buck goes to get his gum.

***

“Buck!”

Christopher is crying out his name before Eddie even has the door open completely, and Buck’s knees take the hit of a small boy throwing himself at them. Arms wrap around his legs, squeezing tight. 

Not as tightly as the way his chest seems to be squeezing his heart. This damn kid. Buck bends down to wrap his arms around him, kissing the top of his head. Avoids looking at Eddie by keeping his face tucked in Christopher’s curls. 

“Hey, buddy,” he mumbles, eyes sting with tears he fights to hold back. 

“I missed you, Buck.”

“I missed you too,” Buck says, finally pulling back. He untangles himself so that he can crouch down and look into Christopher’s face. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around that much these past few weeks.” 

“It’s okay. I know you were having a hard time.”

Above them, Eddie makes a noise, drawing Buck’s attention to him. Rather than speak like Buck wants him to, Eddie just holds out Christopher’s backpack. 

“Right.” Buck stands up again, takes it from Eddie. “So the plan is, breakfast and then picking up the rest of the crew at Bobby and Athena’s. Denny spent the night last night, I guess.”

“I don’t need a play-by-play, Buck. Just have him home by six.”

“Right. I will.” 

Watching Eddie say goodbye to Christopher isn’t something Buck can do, so he turns away, pretends to busy himself looking up directions to the diner he’s taking Christopher to. 

It’s a short trip, and once they’re there and settled in, food ordered, it’s like no time has passed. Christopher chatters away to him about school, the parties he’s been going to, his new friends. Buck makes mental notes on all of them so that he can remember to ask questions later. 

Half way through his second waffle, Christopher turns the tables on Buck.

“How come you and Dad are fighting?”

This damn kid. Buck swears to himself, shaking his head slightly. Choosing his words carefully. 

“Your dad is mad at me because I couldn’t see you guys. See, I did something that I thought was a good idea at the time. I thought it would get me what I wanted. But doing it took me away from you and your dad, two of the people I love the most. It hurt your dad.”

Christopher considers this. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“I think Dad won’t be mad at you forever. But maybe you should promise not to go away again.” 

Buck blinks, eyes stinging. “Well, I do promise that.”

“I know that. You gotta promise it to Dad, though.”

Buck cuts a piece of waffle and offers the bite to Christopher, who chews it while Buck considers what to say.

Of course he wants to make that promise to Eddie. He wants to be able to just talk to Eddie without feeling like it’s going to make things worse.

“I’ll try,” Buck finally says, takes his own bite of the waffle. “So, are you excited about the festival?”

Christopher nods, curls bouncing. “I want to make a candle.” 

“A candle? To put in your pumpkin?”

This time, Christopher shakes his head. 

“No,” he says, voice quiet, “It’s for my mom. For--for _ Día de Muertos. _Abuela says this year, she gets an altar.”

“Oh.” 

Of course Christopher wants to make a candle for his mom. It hasn’t even been a year since he lost Shannon--since Eddie lost her. With everything that’s happened since then, it feels like longer. 

And, for fuck’s sake, how big of an asshole is Buck, taking himself away from Eddie and Christopher when they’ve both just lost her not that long ago? 

“Does it make you sad, to think about her?”

“Sometimes,” Christopher sighs. “Sometimes I have dreams about her.”

“Good dreams?”

“And bad dreams.” 

“...I’m sorry, Chris.”

“Doctor Lin says they’re normal.”

The name is familiar. Christopher’s therapist, Buck’s pretty sure. He’s glad that he’s got someone to talk to. 

“They are,” Buck agrees, ruffles his hair. Leans in to kiss the top of his head.

This damn kid. 


	2. bitter and so sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun at the fall festival...and fun for the grown ups, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And part two! Whew! This fic hit me like an anvil.

Eddie closes the door, leans against it with his forehead pressed against the cool wood. His hands clench and unclench, to keep him from hitting it.

That’s a lie. It’s to stop the shaking.

_ You told me Christopher misses me, and I _ miss _ him. _

The words were true enough, when put to the test. Seeing Buck reunited with his son had filled Eddie with a familiar emotion, as well as a strong sense of déjà vu. 

Of course, that was the problem, wasn’t it? Eddie’s done all this before. He never thought he’d have to do it again. Not with Buck.

_ I love that kid, and you know it. _

He does know it. Buck loves Christopher the way that Eddie does. He’s never said it in so many words, but he doesn’t have to. Buck loved Christopher before he met him, and he loves him unconditionally. 

Buck loves Christopher the way that Christopher deserves to be loved.

“_Necesito una bebida._” 

Eddie straightens, moving away from the door. Barely gets half a dozen steps before someone is knocking at his door. 

He’s not expecting anyone. Maybe Buck came back? Eddie hesitates, not sure if he can really face him again so soon without doing something he’ll regret. 

He’s done enough of that for a good long while. 

More knocking, insistently. 

Going back to the door, Eddie throws it open.

Hen, Karen, Chimney, and Maddie are standing outside of it, grinning. Maddie is holding a bottle of champagne, and Hen has orange juice.

Karen is pushing past him before Eddie can react. “Hen, if this man’s fridge is empty and we have to go back to the store, breakfast will take forever.”

Hen follows her, and Eddie’s left pressed against his own wall. 

“Baby,” she’s calling, “he has a kid, he’s not going to have an empty fridge.” 

“This is a nice house.” Maddie steps inside, looking around, followed by Chimney. “Hi, Eddie.”

“Hi.” Eddie readjusts, standing straight and fixing his t-shirt. “What are you guys all doing here?” 

“No kids today!” Chimney claps him on the shoulder. “We’re taking advantage. Hey, where’s your kitchen? Did you know Hen cooked? I hope you have stuff to make omelets.” 

“You have no kids every day,” Eddie argues weakly after Chimney’s back as he trails off into Eddie’s house. Maddie, at least, is pretending to be polite by lingering. She shrugs.

“We thought you might want some company.” 

Eddie stares at her. It takes him to understand that there’s no heat in her words, no anger in her face. In fact, the only emotion he sees is sympathy. With the hand not holding the bottle of champagne, she pats his arm. 

“I…”

“Want a mimosa?” The words come cheerfully, Maddie raising the bottle with an impish grin that reminds him so much of Buck it hurts.

“_Please._”

***

“Buck, can Denny and I go shoot arrows?”

Harry taps at Buck’s shoulder as he asks the question, darting around in front of him just as Buck turns to face him so that he ends up going in a circle. From the delighted laughter of the boys, the whole thing was a set up. 

Christopher is laughing too, though, so Buck doesn’t mind. He bites his lip, glancing at the tent where three stalls are set up with bows and arrows in front of targets of varying distances. First instinct says no way in hell, but there are other people in line with kids, and some of them are younger than any of the ones that Buck’s got. 

Shrugging, Buck nods. “Yeah, alright. We’ll all go.” 

He’d taken archery in high school, and it had been fun. Buck had been pretty good, too. It might be cool to see how rusty he was. As soon as he’s agreed, though, he hears a sigh.

May is standing off to his left, clearly bored out of her mind. She rolls her eyes at her phone, unaware that she has Buck’s attention. 

“Is there something else you’d rather do, May?”

She jumps a little, looks up guiltily, then glances around the area of the festival they’re in. Her eyes land on a little building labeled THE COOP. 

“Can I go look at the chickens?”

Considering how unimpressed she’d been with the Creepy Crawly Barn, the request startles a chuckle out of Buck. 

“Uh, yeah, sure. Come check in when you’re done, alright?” The size of the line has Buck feeling that they’ll be there for a few minutes. He leans down to Christopher, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What about you, Chris? You want to go look at chickens with May, or try to shoot an arrow with Denny, Harry and me?”

Christopher considers both of his options carefully for a few seconds.

“I want to shoot an arrow,” is what he finally declares. 

“Yeah? Alright, cool, that’s what we’ll do, then. Hey, maybe we can get a couple of pictures for your dad.”

“He’d like that.”

“Never mind,” May says, quickly, inching closer to the two of them. “I can take those pictures, if you want?” 

Surprised again, Buck blinks, but grins.

“Alright, cool.” 

When it’s their turn, Buck fishes his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it and opens the camera before handing it to May. 

They lucked out in that all three stalls open at once, so Harry gets one and Denny gets another, with Buck and Christopher in the last one. May must have flipped it over to video, because she pans from her brother to Denny, to the two of them. Buck trusts she’ll get something good--she is a teenager, after all--so he focuses on helping Christopher hold the bow and steady the arrow, aiming at a target that’s a scarecrow painted on a haybale. He releases the bow to let Christopher draw the arrow and string back, let it go. It sails and sinks into a low corner of their chosen target. 

“Yay! Go Chris!” Buck high-fives him. “You get two more turns, you want to go again?”

“One more time.”

After that, Christopher insists that Buck have his last try. Buck sinks his arrow into the middle of a jack o’lantern a few yards in the distance. 

Denny and Harry make impressed noises, May claps a little, and Christopher cheers. Buck pretends to take a bow, then stands up again. 

“Hey,” he says, “Who’s ready to try that maze?” 

“You and I are both too tall for it,” May points out, handing him his phone back, possibly purely so she can put her hands on her hips. The pose reminds him of Athena so strongly that Buck has to resist the urge to apologize.

“Well, we can wait at the end for the boys, then. Or you can go see those chickens while I wait.” 

In the end, May decides to go see if she can actually hold any chicks, while Buck and the boys make their way to the hay maze. Buck does tower over the walls, so he waits at one end and keeps a watchful eye on Christopher, Harry, and Denny. 

For all that they squabble with each other, both boys are incredibly sweet and helpful towards Christopher. Twice, Denny holds Christopher’s crutches so that Harry can help him through a tunnel. He passes them through and crawls after, and once Christopher is wearing them again, the boys resume their journey.

Buck makes sure to get pictures of everything, pride welling up in his chest. 

***

“Oh, Bobby, look.”

Athena settles down next to her husband on the couch with a steaming mug of coffee and her phone, which she offers to him. Bobby takes it from her, studying the video over the rim of his glasses. 

“Well, it looks like everyone is having a good time.” He starts to hand it back when it chirps again, a picture from Buck popping up. Harry is holding Christopher’s hands as Christopher crawls out of a tunnel surrounded by hay. 

“Hey, that’s one to frame.”

“What?” Athena sets her mug down, takes it back, tapping the screen to brighten it, and her expression softens. “Aw, that’s my sweet boy.” 

“You and Michael have raised a couple of great kids,” Bobby agrees, wrapping his arm around her shoulders so that she snuggles into him. 

“I have to admit, I was a little worried, letting Buck be in charge of all of them.”

“No, he’s good with kids. Especially Christopher.”

Athena pulls back a little, eyebrows raised, studying the side of Bobby’s face. 

“Is that why you were so fine with the idea? I have to admit, I was surprised when you suggested it.”

“No,” Bobby shakes his head, “I was fine with it because… Buck loves us. For all his screw ups, we are family to him. And a family should be forgiving.”

“Does that mean he’s off the hook?”

“Oh, no. He’s gotta babysit a couple more times before that happens.”

Athena laughs, cupping Bobby’s cheek so that she can turn his head and kiss him. 

***

Eddie sits uncomfortably on one end of his couch, Hen at the other, Karen perched on the arm. Maddie and Chimney are seated similarly in the lounge chair, and all four of them are cooing over the pictures Buck is sending them.

Eddie’s phone is silent, has been all day. 

“Oh, look at Christopher touching that starfish! He looks so happy! Eddie, has Buck sent you this one yet?” Maddie raises her head to look at him expectantly. 

Eddie clears his throat, shifts his weight. “Uh, no. I told Buck he didn’t need to check in, today.”

Maddie’s look turns knowing as she glances at Chimney, then Hen. 

“Well, here,” Hen says as soon as their gazes meet, holding the phone out to Eddie. “Check it out. It looks like he’s having a blast, and getting along great with Denny.” 

Eddie takes her phone, starts scrolling through the pictures. They’re all of Denny, but Christopher seems to be in every single one, too. A video makes Eddie pause. It starts with Harry, pans to Denny, then zooms in on Buck and Christopher.

Eddie watches Buck makes sure that Christopher is the one shooting the arrows seemingly without thinking about it, cheers him on with his back to the camera, so it’s clearly not a show. Then he takes the bow from Eddie’s son, takes an arrow from the older gentleman Eddie assumes is running the booth, gracefully shoots and hits a distance target. The video cuts off with the kids’ cheers. 

It leaves a lump in Eddie’s throat that he swallows against as he hands the phone back to her. “Glad to see it.” 

“Hey,” Karen interrupts, glancing around the room at the sudden tension. “This is supposed to be our kid-free day, and here we are, staring at our phones and talking about our kids. I vote for more mimosas.”

“Ah, we’re out of champagne,” Maddie reminds her. Karen’s face falls.

“...I have vodka?” Eddie offers, if only because she’s too sweet a person for him to want to see her unhappy.

She made him breakfast, after all.

“Screwdrivers it is!” 

Taking upon herself to make them, Karen pats Hen’s shoulder and stands, grabs Chimney by the elbow as she does. 

“Come on. I’m going to need help carrying.”

Chimney’s protests are half-hearted, fading as he’s dragged from the room. Leaving Eddie with Hen and Maddie, who are looking at each other again. 

“This is an ambush,” he says weakly, sinking down in his chair. 

“I just want to know how much longer you’re going to be punishing my little brother. He keeps bringing ice cream over because he wants to eat it but not alone, and my pants are starting to get tight.”

“It’s not that simple--”

“No, it’s not,” Hen agrees. “And it shouldn’t be. But you and Buck are never going to be able to work through it if you won’t even talk to him.” She pauses, then continues, a little more quietly, “You know, not too long before you showed up, I cheated on Karen with my ex, and she took Denny and left me for awhile. She wouldn’t even talk to me.”

That’s all news to Eddie, who blinks at her, keeping his expression blank. 

“I’m not sure why you’re telling me this,” he lies. From the unimpressed look it earns him, Hen knows he’s lying. 

“I’m telling you this because now--now Karen and I are...I mean, we were trying for a baby. And we’re stronger than ever. Because Karen knew I loved her, and knew that even though I’d messed up. And she forgave me. Eddie, what Buck did was stupid, but he didn’t do it because he doesn’t care about you.”

“I don’t think there’s anyone in the world, besides me, that Buck cares about more than you and your son,” Maddie adds. 

Eddie’s jaw clenches. He looks down at his hands, over at his phone. Anywhere but that conversation would be a real nice place to be, right in the moment. 

Luckily, he’s saved from the ugly well of...something...rising in him by Karen and Chimney rejoining them, Karen with another cry of, “Screwdrivers!”

Eddie drinks his in three gulps. 

***

The day ends with a hayride, a trip through a pumpkin patch, and Buck shelling out fifty dollars on pumpkins. 

“We should all carve them together,” Denny says excitedly, pushing the borrowed wheelbarrow back to Buck’s rented car. He still hasn’t gotten a new one since the tsunami, but this one is bigger than his was, anyway. More room for the kids. “I don’t think my moms would mine if we did that. Please, Buck?”

“Yeah, Buck, please? That would be so much fun! I could help Christopher with his!”

“Or I could,” Denny protests, wheeling the pumpkins a little closer to the boy in question. “Christopher, would you rather Harry or me help you with your pumpkin?”

“I want Buck to help me,” Christopher says without hesitation.

“Wait, I want Buck to help me too,” Denny decides, and Harry seems to agree, because the argument moves on to who Buck is going to help.

“Hey, hey,” Buck says, unlocking the car and counting heads as he does. May is trailing a little behind, phone out again, but she seems to be taking pictures again. Or maybe they’re selfies, Buck doesn’t know. “I can help all of you, just...one at a time.”

“Me first,” Christopher beams up at him, and Buck grins back down, ruffling his curls. Denny makes a noise of protest.

“How come you first?”

“Because he’s_ my _ Buck,” Christopher explains, sounding so proud that Buck suddenly understands exactly how the Grinch’s rapidly growing heart much have felt. A little painful, but so _ good_.

“You heard the kid,” Buck says, when Denny turns to pout at him, and he shrugs. “Now, c’mon, help me load up these pumpkins and then I need a volunteer to take the wheelbarrow back.”

“I’ll do it,” May says quickly. She makes Harry take the basket and corn husk doll she made earlier--Christopher also has a doll, but no basket--and as soon as the wheelbarrow is empty, she’s off towards the hay ride entrance. 

Buck loads the other kids up in the car as she does that, has music already playing and the engine idling when she returns, slides into the passenger seat. 

“Let’s get you guys home,” Buck says, grinning at Christopher in the rear view mirror as he does. Whatever happens when he drops him off, he knows Chris had a great day, and that’s what counts. 

***

By the time six rolls around, Eddie is alone in his house again, mostly sober again… Anything else, and he couldn’t say.

At exactly six, there’s a knock on his door. That morning, the knock made his throat clog, chest knotting up, because the last thing he’d wanted to see was Buck.

He’s still not sure about wanting to see Buck, but he at least doesn’t not want to. 

Pasting a smile on his face for Christopher’s sake, Eddie throws the door open. 

“Dad!” His son tumbles into his arms. Buck is standing behind him, holding a pumpkin and a paper bag.

“Spoils from the festival,” he explains with a slight grin when Eddie raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Buck’s gonna help me carve it. Before he helps Denny and Harry,” Christopher adds with a hint of smugness. “Also, Dad, I made a candle and a corn husk doll and I touched an anenemy--”

“Anemone,” Buck chimes in, smiling growing.

“--Right, and two starfish and saw jellyfish in a room that was all pink, and--”

“You gave him sugar, didn’t you?” The accusation is resigned, almost gentle.

“May begged me to stop at Starbucks on the way home,” Buck admits, sheepish. “I swear I got small everything and _ nothing _ with caffeine.”

“I believe you.” Eddie sweeps Christopher up into a hug and lifts him, stepping into the house. Stepping aside, on impulse, to let Buck in. “I just hope it didn’t spoil his dinner.” 

Buck sucks in a sharp breath, hesitating, then steps inside. 

“I’m starving,” Christopher says, breath tickling Eddie’s ear. 

“Good, because I just ordered some take out. Close the door, Buck,” he throws over his shoulder, heading into the living room. He hears the crinkle of paper as Buck sets the pumpkin down, then the snick of the door shutting. Feet hurrying after him. Eddie can feel the heat of him as he follows them into the house. He’s right behind him. If Eddie stops, he’ll probably bump into him.

Eddie stops. Buck’s chest hits his back, and then a warm hand is on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Buck apologizes quickly, nerves obvious in his voice. Eddie turns around, sets Christopher down carefully. Without prompting, he continues on towards the living room.

“It’s fine,” he starts to say, but Buck continues in a rush. 

“Not just for bumping into you. For everything, Eddie. I’m sorry, and I promise you--I _ swear _it--I’m not going anywhere again.” 

_ You and Buck are never going to be able to work through it if you won’t even talk to him. _

Eddie studies Buck’s face, the earnest wideness of his blue eyes, the knit of his brows. The slight part of his lips. 

“Stay for dinner.”

His lips part wider, curl into a slow grin. “Really?” 

“This doesn’t mean things are okay,” Eddie tells him, and Buck nods. 

“No, I know.” 

It means that maybe they can be, though. 

He’s willing to work for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, peeps! Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and tell me what you think!


End file.
